Hi. I’m Lacie and I’m a drug (store) addict. Like most addicts, I’m not sure how I ended up here. I never thought it would be me. I’m a list maker. I only shop at a few select places. I don’t like excess. I avoid trying new things for fear of not liking them. Maybe it’s the neighborhood? I’m a mere 1.5 miles from my local Walgreens and Bartells. Maybe my affinity for clothes shopping was the gateway drug? I’m not sure what has come over me but I’ve hit rock bottom. Last week after being at Walgreens long enough to know the name of every clerk working, I was all but kicked out because they were “closing.” (Do they even do that or was the manager just turning out the lights on me because they were sick of looking at my face??) I didn’t get home until KP was nearly asleep. I crept up the stairs as carefully as possible so as not to rustle my plastic bags of Sally Hansen nail polish remover, Crest Whitestrips, and Orbit Maui Melon Mint.
Sure, it started innocently enough–I went because I actually needed something simple–new eyeliner, q-tips, laundry detergent. Then I found myself dabbling even if I wasn’t out of something yet (aka half a bottle of conditioner) and staying for more than an hour. Now I’m trying things I never thought I would, Jergens self-tanning moisturizer, Maybelline Volum’ Express One-by-One Mascara, Nature Made Fish Oil tablets…I find myself in the throws of full blown addiction and in need of a sponsor. I hope by sharing my experience with you and shedding light on this shameless decay of sensibility and practicality, perhaps you’ll feel comfortable coming forward too.
On my last visit, in an effort to practice better decision making on “needs” versus “wants,” I took the time to document a few items that I categorized into RIDICULOUS or RIDICULOUSLY COOL. Read on.
RECREATION & OUTDOORS
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| RIDICULOUS |
Who ARE these buyers in Washington? Don’t they know on any given day in Seattle you can turn on a regular fan and put it in front of a window and get the same effect?
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| RIDICULOUSLY COOL |
I realize I could insert the same buyer joke here but seriously, this hat rocks. I would totally wear it on those few days it gets sunny here.
FOOD & BEVERAGE
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| RIDICULOUS |
I’m sorry, what?
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| RIDICULOUSLY COOL |
I realize that buying wine from Walgreens is ghetto but this is actually one of my favorites and it’s on SALE! It’s a light and crisp Chardonnay that pairs excellently with chicken and fish dishes.
PERSONAL CARE
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| RIDICULOUS |
Two things wrong here. One, I don’t need to tell you that the place to skimp is NOT on finding out whether or not your preggers so why put these things on sale. Two, $2 off $12.99 is $10.99, not $9.99. If this whole styling gig doesn’t pan out, perhaps I should ask for an application.
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| RIDICULOUSLY COOL |
These red readers with black stripes are super chic. Almost makes me wish I needed readers. Sorta like when I was little and wanted braces so bad I’d walk around with a bent paperclip over my teeth.
FASHION
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| RIDICULOUS |
No, no, no, no, NO. There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin.
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| RIDICULOUSLY COOL |
Note to self: start shopping at Walgreens for hair accessories. I would rock this sequin headband hippie style with a long black maxi, silk gold tank and combat boots.
TOYS & ENTERTAINMENT
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| RIDICULOUS |
Is it a bear? Is it Elvis? I’m so confused. One thing it is for sure is on sale.
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| RIDICULOUSLY COOL |
This game rocks socks.
Well, that was fun kids. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to run to the store. I’m running out of hairspray.
