April 10, 2010

Plllthhh. Today was not a good day. I was not looking forward to the five mile mark–something about it seemed so intimidating even though I kept telling myself it was not even a mile more than I ran last week. To make matters worse, I had a really bad day at work yesterday and still hadn’t been able to shake it off even after an intense power yoga class.

The plan was to run when I woke up but instead I put it off until nearly after 5 o’clock which didn’t help. I fell asleep on the couch around three for a couple of hours and woke up with that same feeling I used to get when I was little if I had a test or project due and wasn’t ready for it. I opened my eyes and looked outside to see that the sun was shining. I stepped out on the deck to get a reading for what gear to wear and was immediately basked in the warm glow of the sun. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I got changed and dragged myself out the door kissing Ken goodbye on the way. I kept saying “Five miles is going to be really hard you know. That’s practically the length of the half-marathon.” “You’ll do great,” he said. “You said yesterday I couldn’t do it.” I replied. “That’s because I was using reverse psychology on you, now go.”

I’ve learned that when you start to run long distances, the first couple miles of your long run inevitably suck. You aren’t in your rhythm yet, you’re usually stiff from your cross training the day before…it just stinks. About mile two I usually start to feel better. Not today. In fact, pretty much the entire run felt like trying to pull on panty hose that are three sizes too small. An absolute struggle.

I parked near the waterfront and got out of the car. I brought my jacket but thought surely I wouldn’t need it. I got a half a block down the street before I turned back to get it. Okay, so the weather wasn’t as nice as I thought. I cranked the iPod, started my heart monitor and took off. Things only went downhill from there. My legs felt full of lead and the wind was no less than frigid coming off Lake Washington. My ponytail kept whipping around stinging my face. I was flipping through songs right and left, not liking anything. Not even Creedence Clearwater Revival could lift my spirits. People were meandering all over the sidewalk so I had to dart in and out to avoid strollers and dogs and old grandmas. Everything about it felt off.

All I could think about was the tiff I’d had at work yesterday and how far I still had left to run. I can proudly say and at the same time shamefully admit that up until today, I had not stopped during training runs ONCE. I always knew that option was there if I was tired or was in pain but never used it. Today was the first time I stopped and I didn’t just stop once, I stopped several times. I didn’t even stop because I was tired, I think it was because my heart was sad and I felt so out of whack. I just couldn’t get in sync. I measured it out so that I’d end up at Starbucks for my usual after run treat. After what felt like an eternity and then some, I looked down at my watch and saw I had gone farther than last week’s run and only had about 3/4 of a mile left.

At the very moment, I heard a familiar car honk. I looked over to see Ken driving by, waving and smiling. I waved back and got my second wind. Something about seeing my husband’s smiling face made me believe again that I could DO this. I got to the last block and ran it proudly. I slowed my pace as I approached Starbucks. I asked for a pen and paper at the counter after ordering my coffee so I could quickly write down my running time. I checked my watch and couldn’t believe it. I ran 5.19 miles in just over an hour. I walked out with my chin a bit higher.

As I rounded the corner towards the car, I saw what looked like Ken. No way. He was waving a giant bottle of water and smiling. No way. I had seen him earlier of course but thought he was just running an errand. How did he know when I’d finish? How’d he know where I was running? How’d he know where I parked the car? I walked up to him shocked giving him a giant hug. “What are you doing here?” “I wanted to surprise you,” he said. I teared up a little underneath the lenses of my sunglasses. I am so unbelievably lucky.

I was driving home I realized that running is a lot like life. Yes, I’m going to get mushy and philosophical on you so just settle in for a minute. Sometimes it’s great–the sun is shining, people are friendly and you feel like you could take on the world. Other times you think its all sunshine only to find the clouds have rolled in. It’s a struggle. People get in your way and you feel like you’re not going to make it. You have to stop and take it easy for a few minutes and catch your breath. You have to keep your eyes on the horizon and not think about what’s to come but take it one step at a time. You have to pray and call on the strength of God for help. You have to remember that He is always there with you, cheering you on. And at the end of it all, there will always be someone (hopefully lots of someones) you’ve been blessed to know and love, and better yet your soul mate, to wrap you in their arms and tell you how proud of you they are. It’s not always easy but it is always, always worth it.

February 26, 2010

Today I was attacked on my run by a Bear. A Bearbo Baggins to be exact. Yes, our 9 lb Pomeranian Bear attacked me and bit my leg while I was running tonight. I can safely say that this particular work out can go down in the books as my worst run yet. Talk to me again when I hit my mile 13 long run but for now, lets just say it was today.

If you don’t know much about Bear (which is doubtful because most of what I do is complain about his psychosis) just know that he doesn’t do well with children, ducks, strollers, mailmen, runners, big dogs, walkers, little dogs, babies, grannies, UPS, well…really anything outside of our tiny 600 square foot apartment. He barks, snarls, growls, lunges, and yes bites. One of the reasons I looked forward to training was because I thought I could take him out with me on my long runs and he’d get so wiped out (we’ve seen it happen once or twice) that he would just start to ignore everything else and love running. Today was not that day and never again will I attempt such a ridiculous feat.

We were finishing up the run and heading up the hill right before our house. I could see a runner coming towards me. Bear’s ears perked up and he started to jerk his head side to side in true exorcist fashion. I thought for a second that I could run into the street but that plan was quickly squashed when I also saw an oncoming car. I looked instead to the left and decided to run on the grass near the creek for a minute so as to let the runner pass without injury. Perhaps some trauma but no blood.

I jogged to the left and in what felt like slow motion, the runner got about ten feet away, Bear lunged and tried to bite him, jerking me. I slipped on some mud and fell hard and on the way down managed to put my leg in the jaws of death. I was bleeding and covered in mud, Bear was still in full on attack mode with his head thrashing side to side. He does this thing like a shark where I swear his eyes go black and roll back in his head so he can bite his prey without injuring his eyes. The runner was now running a 4 minute mile instead of an 8 minute mile. It was not pretty.

Out of sheer anxiety, I started to cry. This was NOT how this was supposed to happen. Worse yet, what if I had decided to take the street route and Bear had bitten me then. I would’ve been roadkill. I scolded Bear the entire rest of the way home sent him to bed without dinner and didn’t speak to him for two days. I don’t need to tell you he will not be invited on a run again.

February 2, 2010

Well, today was my first day of training. I was emotionally exhausted and completely drained. Ken and I got in late last night and I went into work early to try and get caught up so at least I wouldn’t feel stressed on top of it. I have to admit I was pretty nervous but excited at the same time. I got a few things to run in…a nylon zip up jacket that has a cute little hole for my ipod earphones and spandex (oh how unforgiving of the junk in my trunk but I hear its the best thing to run in) so at least I have that going for me. My first workout was scheduled to be a 20-30 minute run/walk. I was going to try my damndest to jog the whole thing. I had it booked as an appointment on my Outlook calendar so then it became just a matter of actually doing it. All day I would look at the appointment and get butterflies in my stomach.

As it turns out, I had to stay late at work to continue getting caught up on things. By the time I got home, the last thing I wanted to do was run. Take a hot shower, watch a movie, read a book, fall asleep in two seconds flat? Maybe. Run? Not so much. Having already had my first training run derailed for a few days, I was determined to get out there. I got home and got dressed in my new duds and laced up my new kicks. Hmm..now what to keep my ears warm? A bandana? Why yes, I think I will tie that around my head. True, I was a little Jackie Joyner-Kersee meets Tupac. I came out of the room a few minutes after nine all ready to go. Ken seemed a bit surprised.

“Where are you going?”

“Running.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Now?!”

“Yes Babe, I have to start some time.”

It was then that we decided I needed a running buddy. Granted I was only running laps around our apartment complex but it was dark and cold and who knows what could be lurking out there. There is only one dog I know who would be ferocious enough to take on the boogeymen. Bear. I leashed him up and off we went. Now, don’t get too excited. Let me remind you I only ran around our apartment complex. Plus, about halfway through, I got scared and decided just to run around the large carport island just outside our apartment. As first runs go, it wasn’t half bad. I will admit, I didn’t have any major ephiphanies or turning points or anything. In fact, it was rather boring. I listened to my tunes and just kept going.

I am convinced that not all major changes in our life happen because of a turning point or breaking point or any other point. Sometimes there is no point at all. Sometimes its a Tuesday afternoon after you’ve eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Perhaps even the most significant changes in our life happen not because of a catastrophic event but simply because…you have to start some time.

February 1, 2010

Today Chelsea Brack was laid to rest. Chelsea was a no nonsense get ‘er done kind of girl. She had just graduated nursing school at the top of her class and was set to take her RN certification test in just a few weeks. Why would God take away someone that still had so much to give? Especially someone who had made it her life’s mission to further diabetes research and work in a field where she was helping the sick and injured? It just didn’t make sense. She was known for her infectious laugh and viviacious and honry spirit. Chelsea was a true hard ass, she had to be to live the kind of academic life she did and to take on such a draining profession like nursing all while living day to day with diabetes. It doesn’t seem fair to keep breathing in and out, to laugh, to go out to dinners, to see a sunset when she can’t.

Today was also supposed to be my first day of training. Instead I watched as one of the most loving and close knit families I know bury their beautiful twenty-five year old daughter. Today I made the decision that I will run the half marathon not just for me, but for Chelsea. I will run because she can’t. I will push myself harder and faster because she can’t. I will breath in and out, be grateful for the health God gave me and kick my own ass because if she were here, that’s what she’d do. I love you and miss you Chelsea. I’ll see you at the finish line.

January 25, 2010

This morning I got a phone call from Ken on the way to work. I knew before the second ring that something was wrong. He never called me that early. Sure enough he was calling with the news that a very close friend of ours had died. Chelsea Brack, the sister of Ken’s long time best friend, Ben Brack had passed away in her sleep the night before. Ben had called this morning to tell Ken the news and now he was calling me. Chelsea had diabetes and for the most part had it under control but had apparently died suddenly as a result of the illness. I am shocked. I have no words. All I can do is pray for peace and comfort for the Brack family. We love you guys and will see you in a couple of days.

January 23, 2010

Before I get to far into this, I want to give credit where credit is due. I could not do this without some major support in my life. For several reasons, I decided to only tell a few people about training for the marathon.

One, I didn’t want to get everyone excited and part way in suffer a major injury and have to disappoint all my adoring fans. Two, I kinda liked the idea behind it being my little secret. “Why Lacie, what strong calves you have. How on earth are you getting so fit and lean?” to which I would coyly reply, “I really just eat whatever I want and never exercise. I’m lucky I guess.” Three, there is less pressure. There are a lot of naysayers out there. You may not believe me but all you have to do is tell someone a dream of yours to see that they are EVERYWHERE. Go ahead, try it. Tell someone your dream is to own a traveling flea circus and I will bet you a Starbucks Tall two-Equal Americano with a splash of non-fat (or soy if thats your tune) that someone will try to smoosh you and your little fleas in less than 24 hours. I think people are afraid to follow their own dreams so they take comfort in making fun of others dreams and waiting for them to fail. Its sad but true. I’ll be honest, I’d probably tell you that your flea circus was stupid myself but not because I hate circuses, I’ve just heard that fleas despite their reputation for being circus performers, are highly untrainable. I might instead suggest a ferret. See, told you.

The three people I decided to tell were Ken–for obvious reasons (when I began being gone for hours at a time in nothing but shorts and sports bra, I would think he’d get suspicious) my mentor at church, Jan (for spiritual encouragement and prayer) and Jana–my running coach.

For now, I want to fill you in on Jana. Jana is a rockstar. I have a lot of respect for her both personally and professionally. She’s an exec in the leasing department at Kemper Development where I work and she is a kick in the pants. Her laugh is infectious, her style classic Jackie O but with a little edge and she always has a sparkle in her eyes like she’s onto something or in on a secret you’re not. I simply adore her. I knew she was a marathon runner as I had heard stories about her hardcore races. She’s run a few marathons and continues to train on a regular basis. When I first got the crackpot idea to run the Seattle Rock and Roll, I sent her an email to ask if she had ever done it. She immediately replied back and said she hadn’t but that’d she’d do it with me if I wanted to take it on. We agreed to a coffee date (Tall two-Equal Americano with a splash of non-fat for me) to go through all it would entail.

As I sat there and listened to her talk, I couldn’t help but think of a passage in the Bible. I don’t know what Jana believes spiritually and it makes no difference to me, I love her just the same but I was both moved and inspired when I heard how much she has to juggle to make it work. Proverbs 31:10-31 immediately came to my mind. Here I am worrying that I “won’t have enough time” to train while Jana is kicking ass and taking names. She is a mom of two beautiful kiddos and wife to a great guy, all of who’s lives she’s very involved in. She not only holds down but goes above and beyond at a great job, volunteers her time for non-profits and at her kids’ schools* gives money to charitable causes and on top of it all, manages to train vigorously for marathons and half-marathons on a regular basis, most of the time before the crack of dawn. It became clear to me at that point that I’d have no excuse not to give this a shot. I told her I was in.

Over the next couple of weeks she would put together my training schedule and we would meet regularly to check-in and see how things were going. Like I said, Jana is a rockstar and it gives me all the more confidence knowing she has my back. I am honored that she would add running coach to her list of duties and I can only hope I’ll make her proud.

*One time I texted her late at night and she was scouring local grocery stores to find strawberry jello mix for her son’s cooking class the following day-now that’s a supermom for you.)

January 22, 2010

Today I bought my first pair of marathon kicks. I also bought Taco Bell for dinner on the way home. Not exactly off to a great start I know. I can’t say I know many runners that eat Supreme Double Decker tacos but I don’t really know many runners period so maybe my sampling pool is too small to get an accurate reading. That aside, now I have my tennis shoes, my MAGIC shoes. There was something about buying them that made me feel like me and running were getting a fresh start. Like I wouldn’t have to be afraid of running anymore. My running coach, who I will tell you more about in another post, had suggested I go to Foot Zone down the street from our office. I had butterflies in my stomach but at the same time, was very excited. If you know me at all, it doesn’t matter if I’m buying a wrench, I LOVE shopping. How bad could it be right?

The clerk was with another customer when I arrived so I busied myself looking at some running clothes while I waited. I have to admit, I’m very new to the whole running business but they have some very cute clothes. Not to mention a lot of nifty gadgets. The clerk, a young pup of a thing, finished with the customer he was helping and escorted them to the door. He turned to look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. On that particular day, I didn’t quite look like I belonged in a running store. I stood there in my black satin jumper, blazer and platform stilettos and just smiled hopefully. “I’m here to get some running shoes. I’m running a half marathon in June.” Nothing. “Its the Seattle Rock and Roll one, you know, the uh, Rock and Roll half marathon.” Still not much. “My friend Jana said I should come here, that you guys have the best running equipment.” Finally. “Oh uh, right, sure. Take a seat right over here.”

After a few minutes of stilted, awkward conversation, he finally loosened up. I can’t say his words had become any more encouraging. “So you’re actually going to run the marathon huh? Have you started training yet?” I replied confidently, “Nope, not yet. I’m starting February 1st!” “Yeah, a lot of people start training but can’t quite seem to make it to the finish line…” he said as he pulled off my stiletto. After he watched me walk back and forth a few times, which I have to say was like walking the runway which I worked just like Tyra teaches on ANTM, he brought me three pairs of shoes to try on. I asked him not to tell me the price so I wouldn’t be swayed.

As I was trying on the second pair and taking a lap around the store, all of a sudden we heard a terrible bang, followed by a long screeching noise. We looked out the window to see that someone had run into a concrete parking post and managed to drag their entire car down the side of it. Mezmerized, I stood there with one shoe on. We couldn’t look away. It was like a…well a bad car wreck. Was this an omen of my running days to come? A sad crash and burn while everyone watched? He got out, kicked the tire, swore a few sailor worthy words, and then noticed we were staring. “On to socks!” I shouted.
He showed me over to a wall filled with socks that looked like they were all made of marshmellows. Now THIS, I like. Surely running isn’t hard when you’re running on marshmellows, right? Then, I spotted them. ZULU socks made by Balega. “Whooooa…what are these?” I didn’t listen to his answer because I was lost in thought and hooked immediately. They felt like little fluffy clounds. A far cry from my platform stilettos. I read the label. “ZULU- For the warrior in all of us.” Love, love, love, (did I mention love?) it. I bought three pairs. If I wasn’t a warrior yet, I would be soon enough. I left feeling elated, prepared (shout out to all my scouts) and anticpating my very first training run which is just days away. I ran out hollerin’ my best Indian war whoop.

January 21, 2010

I decided before taking on the challenge of the half marathon that I would need to get checked out by the doctor, just to be safe. You know, since running is so bad for your knees and whatnot. Knowing full well that I was a healthy and fit (for the most part) 27-year, a small part of me couldn’t help but hope that there was something wrong with me so I wouldn’t be able to run 13.1 miles on June 26. I called the doctor and set up the appointment. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the white crunchy paper and reading Green Eggs and Ham. Ah yes, how I longed for simpler times. A knock and he appeared. He didn’t so much as listen to my heart before he gave me the go ahead. “Are you SERIOUS? There isn’t anything you want to hit with a hammer or shine a light in?” I was all good. I was told I needed to pay attention to any injuries (knees-see I told you!!) and treat immediately, take it nice and slow with training and get lots of rest and eat right. Well duh. Crap.

January 20, 2010

If I know nothing else about running its that there are a few very important key things you have to have before you hit the pavement. One is a great ipod playlist. Today I sat down to compile mine. I decided to name the playlist Phil (Phillipians) 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” To some that might seem really weird but I did it so that each time I ran and turned that puppy on, I’d put Christ first. See, I have started many projects putting myself first. Losing weight, auditioning for a play, buying a new car (just to name a few) and every time I have, I’ve failed. Fallen on my butt, cried myself to sleep, regretted times a million, failed.

The half marathon, before I even signed up to do it, became for me a huge milestone in my life. Ha…get it? Milestone? Okay, moving on. Running, for the most part anyway, was something I’d failed at before I even attempted. The farthest I ever would get is to THINK about going for a run. It was always part of a great weight loss plan or to get out my anger or as a social get together. It’d pretty much go something like this: “Alright ,today is the day! I’m going to start my workout plan on the right foot and schedule daily runs. I’ll go for thirty minutes. Well, thirty minutes is kind of alot…at least in the beginning. And so bad for your knees too. Maybe I’d better start with a run a couple times a week. OR even better, once a week with walks mixed in to start nice and easy. I’ve even heard that a fast pace walk is actually BETTER than a run. I’ll just do that, I’d hate to do any major damage.” Next thing you knew, a month had gone by and I hadn’t gone for run, let alone a walk.

Running a half marathon to me means two things (and will probably come to mean a lot more when its all said and done. (Which, really, I hope it does because who wants to just do something for two reasons, right?) 1) Commitment (“the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose”) and 2) Endurance (“the power to withstand hardship or stress”) You have to not only commit to running at least five times a week, but every time you do, you have to push yourself a little bit harder and when it hurts, you keep going. You tough it out. Believe it or not, those aren’t strong traits of mine. Most people would find that pretty surprising but if you were to look in my heart of hearts, you’d see the truth. I’m not big on follow through, most apparently when it comes to my personal life.

In light of that, I want to run with Him and all His power and strength in mind. I’m not running this marathon to lose weight or for bragging rights. All of those motivators are external. I want to run this marathon from the inside, with all my heart and soul. I don’t want to sound like one of those motivational office posters with the eagle or the swimmer, I say that with all sincerity. This time, I don’t want to do it for anyone but God. It is by Him and with Him I am able to take on such a challenge. When I think about the mechanics of the human body, I can’t help but think of my creator. Our bodies are nothing short of a miracle. I want that reminder each time I run. Our heart and lungs and legs and arms and muscles and minds and spirits are the most incredible gifts in the world. I can’t help but marvel at the machines we’ve been given to roam the earth in. That said, since I still think I may hate running when this train gets moving, I wanted God on my side. So, I forged ahead picking some of the most upbeat kick ass tunes I could find. Some classics, some trendy bubblegum. Don’t judge. Tip of the iceberg below:

Shoot to Thrill-AC/DC

Fight for Your Right-Beastie Boys

She Loves You-Beatles

Iko Iko-The Belle Stars

All I Need-Bethany Dillon

Boom Boom Pow-Black-eyed Peas

Womanizer-Britney Spears

Gimme More-Britney Spears

Good Things-BoDeans

Somebody’s Cryin- Chris Isaak

Runaround Sue-Chubby Checker

Johnny B. Goode-Chuck Berry

Viva La Vida-Coldplay

Violet Hill-Coldplay

Lookin’ Out My Backdoor-Creedance Clearwater Revivial

It is Well With My Soul-Chris Rice

Around the World-Daft Punk

Sexy Chick-David Guetta

Lay Me Down-The Dirty Heads

Jailhouse Rock-Elvis Presley

Glamorous-Fergie

Never Goin’ Back Again-Fleetwood Mac

Right Round-Flo Rida

Paradise City-Guns N’ Roses

Power of Love-Huey Lewis & the News

Replay-Iyaz

Let’s Get Married-Jagged Edge

Great Balls of Fire-Jerry Lee Lewis

Stronger-Kanye West

Footloose-Kenny Loggins

Tik Tok-Ke$ha

Sex on Fire-Kings of Leon

Use Somebody-Kings of Leon

Bulletproof-La Roux

Good Golly Miss Molly-Little Richard

Paper Planes-M.I.A

King Without a Crown-Matisyahu

Right Back Where we Started From-Maxine Nightingale

They Don’t Care About Us-Michael Jackson

Pray-MC Hammer

Supermassive Black Hole-Muse

These Boots are Made for Walkin’-Nancy Sinatra

In the Aeroplane over the Sea-Neutral Milk Hotel

Hey Ya-Outkast

Ditty-Paperboy

Hit Me with your Best Shot-Pat Benetar

Come On Feel the Noize-Quiet Riot

Pump Up the Jam-Technotronic

Eye of the Tiger-Survivor

Ice, Ice Baby-Vanilla Ice

You Can Call Me Al-Paul Simon

Bohemian Rhapsody-Queen

Good Lovin’-The Rascals

Disturbia-Rihanna

Addicted to Love-Robert Palmer

Tamacun-Rodrigo y Gabriela

Fire Burning-Sean Kingston

Cry for You-September

Wake Up-Sliimy

The Finer Things-Steve Winwood

Live Yo Life-Trae

So Happy Together-Turtles

How Will I Know-Whitney Houston

Zero-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Heads Will Roll-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

The entire soundtrack of Walk The Line

Anything and I mean anything by Lady Gaga, Mason Jennings

A little something extra…

The Luckiest-Ben Folds (The song Ken sang to me on our wedding day. My husband is my life, my love and my inspiration)

Moon River-Andy Williams-(Our first dance…not to mention what Big and Carrie dance to before he leaves NYC for Napa)

What Do I Know of Holy-Addison Road (One of my most absolute favorite worship songs. Nothing explains my heart more)

I did it!! I posted a profile picture!!